Wednesday, 28 March 2012

The A Day

The mega event in the yearly marital calendar came and went.
Am referring to the anniversary, of course!  The day when the entire world and its cousin expects you to dress up, be serenaded with flowers and showered with love and gifts (not necessarily in that order) and have an overtly expensive dinner at some city ‘hot spot’; candles and wine glass in frame. Terribly clichéd, but when was the last time impulsiveness was hailed as a virtue? Oh the ‘must do’ list includes posting the ‘our platinum moment’ pictures on virtual world. After all if the world and its cousin do not ‘like’ the way you went about THE DAY how can you feel satisfied that it was indeed well spent?

Over the years, I have suggested loads of out-of-the box, “how to spend your anniversary in style” ideas to THE HUSBAND, relations and friends; the ideas have been trashed. But let me still share few in brief, maybe some reader at some corner will appreciate my creative streak!
1.      I had once proposed to THE HUSBAND that instead of the expected nonsense, maybe we should each prepare a short, crisp 4 slide ppt. The language can be all floral (quotes from favourite poet/movie, anecdotes from real life etc) with visually breathtaking slides which can be discussed in a cozy meeting room set up (rose petals, champagne et all) where KRA’s for our marriage, way forward for the coming year and the ‘highs and lows’ for the current year can be discussed with some soul stirring music in the background.
Reaction: THE HUSBAND y-a-w-n-e-d
2.      On my aunt’s 25th marriage anniversary, I had strongly recommended learning a few, well coordinated dance moves, a la Karan Johar movies; the whole point was we all could break into a cute jig whenever there was a happy occasion in the family. 
Reaction: Those present gave a nervous giggle and showed ZERO commitment!
3.      A friend who had (at least on three counts in a span of 1 year) mentioned that some zing is required to spice up her life was recommended lessons in belly dancing to seduce the husband. FYI: This idea was inspired by a Turkish set up Mills & Boon I had devoured during my teens.
Reaction: Demotivated look. Raising one cocky eyebrow, she retorted, “Am not spending money and effort to seduce my own husband!”

Well, since no one pays attention to my absolutely mind blowing ideas, I decided to just go with the flow this time.
The day started as expected (but not desired) with lots of chaos. Happens when you entertain two dogs who think they are the masters of the house. Trust me, when you wake up to such pandemonium, your well rehearsed opening line for the day, gets goofed up. I ended up spending the next 1 hour with a severe frown, accentuating the lines that require immediate botox attention. During the lovely breakfast comprising of Maggie, we discussed impending EMI’s. I just love these romantic topics; they make me realize my purpose on this planet. Just so that we can be hailed as different from other couples we know and share our marital woes with, we decided to go for an ‘anniv lunch’ and not dinner. How distinctly different is that!

THE HUSBAND had apparently called and booked a table in some ‘awesome terrace view’ restaurant (he actually spent 10 minutes of his precious time googling!!) but did not bother getting landmarks to reach that place. He instructed his personal secretary, that’s me, (in case you have better ideas), to book a cab. Nah, not a Rolls or Merc; just the regular, shabby Indica from the neighbourhood car rental. He was in a mood to drink and hence needed to be driven.

THE HUSBAND loftily asked the driver to take us to the ‘reserved a table’ place. Driver gave a heart wrenching smile. No, he has absolutely no idea where this place is. HUSBAND angrily flipped his phone and dialed the number (he also looked at me expectantly to dial it for him, but I promptly looked the other way) and informed in a resigned voice “No one is answering”. Lovely. Just the start you need for an ‘anniversary lunch’. We roamed around aimlessly for the next 20 minutes. We reached a road which had a have-eaten-many-times restaurant and a never-eaten-before joint on the opposite side. While I wanted to explore new one, THE HUSBAND wanted to stick to the safe option. Argument followed which was suspended half way since hunger pangs were at work!
Food was great, drinks better. We drank as if there is no tomorrow and indulged in intense conversations. Not with each other but with the Manager, a fellow Bengali. THE HUSBAND’s gift for me was pending, so we agreed (for once) that we must stop over at the mall for ‘gift exchange programme’ on our way back. Efficiency is my middle name; I had delivered his gift a month in advance. Semi drunk and giggly, we staggered in the mall and stood smiling without any reason in front of a crockery counter when it was pre decided that our goal is the perfume counter. One of us nudged the other; we somehow managed to pick up the right fragrance and reached back home without any mishap.
Evening was like it should be. Usual high IQ argument topics ranged from who should have disciplined the dogs when there was still time to why do we always end up watching mindless ‘MTV Roadies’ audition. More drinks followed. Laziness reached its supreme peak; not only did we both refuse to cook, THE HUSBAND even advised that since the walk from the living room to the main entrance is like covering a half marathon, we should not indulge in the idea of ordering food either! FYI: Its actually just 20 steps
Munching on butterless, cheeseless, jamless bread we solemnly pledged to tolerate each other for one more year. We are confident about the coming year of togetherness. As long as there are arguments and alcohol, we are sorted.
Between, a site informed that each anniversary is actually named after the kind of gifts a couple should exchange.
1st- paper
2nd - cotton
3rd - leather
4th - silk or flowers
5th - wood
6th - iron or candy
7th - copper or wool
8th - bronze or rubber
9th - pottery
10th - tin
11th - steel
12th - linen
13th - lace
14th - ivory
15th - crystal
20th - china
25th - silver
30th - pearl
35th - coral
40th - ruby
45th - sapphire
50th - gold
55th - emerald
60th - diamond


  1. "candles and wine glass in frame." Is this by any chance me???? [with crooked eyeborws I am awaiting an answer]..hmmmm....bollll!!!!!

  2. No way, Man! Its just the staple one sees everywhere..even lifestyle magz:)

  3. Gargi, I loved your first suggestion and he YAWNED!!!Lovely article friend, Happy belated anniversary <3

  4. Sulekha, there u u must try that least someone appreciates my IDEAS:))

  5. LOL! Enjoyed reading....Happy belated anniversary Gargi! On the gift why dont you have one for the 18th? It's my 18th this year!

  6. Swati, I will diligently look up on 18th year gift:) After all 'googling' is my favourite hobby!

  7. Achyut, thanks..if 'u' found my sense of H good, it must be:))

  8. My question too...what are the gifts you get or give in the gaps of years not mentioned...but yes in my house The Husband cutely ask me where I want to go for 'lunch'...and when I state my happens to just the place where The Husband does not like...:)...heheeee

  9. Ah, Anumita..difference in opinion makes the world such an interesting place:)