Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Random ramblings - part 2

I have never understood women who state loftily, “My hubby is my best friend” in social do’s and more importantly where everyone who does not stay in Mars is found these days, i.e. – Facebook.


First of all I am not fond of husbands being called Hubby; it sounds pretty wannabe. And secondly lady, how can you not have managed to get yourself a best friend all these years, given that the average age of maiden marriage among urban Indian women have risen to 22.2 years? All the years in school, neighbourhood parks, inter school fests, tuition classes you never made a friend who could be promoted to the best friend category? You waited for holy matrimony to grant you a best friend? N-I-C-E.

Of course these women remind me of those girls during my teens, who claimed, ‘My mother is my best friend’. Yawn. Like you discuss everything with mothers! I mean those girls were so tedious they should have killed themselves for inflicting such boredom on others and I had just started feeling lucky that I don’t need to interact with such types anymore but hell no! At my ripe old age I still come across these mind numbing ones.

How can a husband equate a best friend? Yes, if one has married well, by ‘well’ I mean a moderately sane guy, a husband can definitely be one of you trusted, dependable friend, who doubles up as a responsible housemate and an affectionate co-parent. But best friend….nah.

Best friends are born when one person says to another, “You too? Ha, I thought I was the only one!” Yes that is how you define a BFF. That person who knows all your scams dude; the person who has seen you with the most horrible haircut, knows your family’s mess (and trust you me most families have some secrets or the other), well aware of the stupidest fling you had and is the first person you call up when you need to crib about your mother-in-law unreasonable behaviour. Thirty plus years on this planet I have witnessed that at some point most mother-in-laws do behave unreasonably; I mean for God’s sake even your own mother does. And yes you crib about your own mother to your best friend too. That friend is also the one you nudge when you come across once in five years, a real Hot (with capital H) guy.

And then again best friends don’t go on a diet because you are fat. I know men who had to enrol in ‘couple diets’ or some such silly sounding programme because wifey (another wannabe terminology) needed to fit in some strange dress for cousin’s wedding. I am not joking.

Best friends are okay with you even when they have seen your ugliest, meanest side. They do not approve of it, but they still tolerate you. I dare any of those ‘Hubby best friend’ types to show their real, absolutely unabashed creepy self to their spouses. One never does. Marriage in a strange way always has a veneer of political correctness.  You can get angry and call your best an ass**e. Can you seriously get away calling your husband names when angry?

Maybe the women with best friend husbands don’t have secrets to share. Or maybe they live in those nice bubble houses where everything is always perfect and always fine.

Except methinks they are missing out on fun. For God’s sake Husbands take you out for lunch, best friends eat up our lunch as and when they are hungryJ. They act as a therapist, a sibling you never had (for the only child like yours truly), your mom when mommy love is not immediately available and yes at times they act your worst enemy because they push you that much harder to excel.

I for one am happy to have one BFF, some real close friends and of course an old alcohol buddy cum loafing partner as a Husband. And thank God, these categories have not merged into one person.

However, my BFF and Husband both have names that start with ‘S’; coincidence that’s it.
BFF's -The ones with whom you have 'whose wristlet is better contest"