So, I was watching this movie
titled “Charulata 2011” yesterday. Honestly, every other channel was a drag and
since this seemed like one of the-coming-of-age Bengali movies, I felt like
giving it a shot.
It featured the perfectly oval
shaped, doe eyed Rituparna S, who wore lovely muted coloured sarees, Fab India
ghera skirts along with interesting accessories, had perfect eye make up and
salon straightened hair that fell over half her face like a curtain throughout
the movie, barring a few scenes. Maybe that was the director’s idea of creating
a mysterious woman out of an ordinary one; personally speaking if you have hair
all over your face and see through only one eye, you will end up having a
muddled view of the world, like the protagonist in this film did!
Shot mostly indoors, in an
aesthetically done up apartment (or do Bengalis still refer to them as ‘flat’
like they did a decade back?) this is the story of a Tagore loving, lonely, well
off (husband is a well known editor) identity crisis facing housewife who
starts chatting with a stranger. Her chat ID is ‘Charulata 2011’ (oh gosh,
don’t tell me it took her that many years to create a chat ID) and the person
with whom she chats, invariably a guy who calls himself ‘Amol’. The characters are
based on Rabindranath Tagore’s novella ‘Nostoneer’ which we all (anyone who
sees movies apart from Bol Bacchan genre) knows has been immortalized by Ray's celluloid classic
"Charulata’.
Now, this particular blog is not about the two
movies. However, I needed to set the tone. I mean this blog is about decoding
marriage and after watching that confused protagonist for nearly 2 hours (I
actually started surfing other channels) I have one question. Why do so many
lonely, bored housewives in movies and novels end up in a sexual relationship
with some random guy (sometimes you also have ex boyfriends featuring in this
role) whom she starts fancying? Is that THE only idea of entertainment? Does a
short fling have the power to set you free?
And are these characters for real? Educated women
who keep drinking coffee and staring out of their window looking as if she is
going to be executed the very next moment (they always have that sulky, no one
loves me, main duniya bhula dungi expression) and has absolutely no idea
what they want with their lives? Life looks simple enough for these
stereotypes, get bored + go for shopping + if still bored+ start re reading /
leafing through favourite novels or crib about the lack of a child in your
life/ if you have one crib about how much they drive you up the wall + if still,
still bored + start developing feelings for strangers?
Is that how one defines one’s existence? Who are
these so-called ‘Charu’s’? How would they react if their husband indulges in
some dalliance behind their back? Or is it because women think ‘liberty’ is
defined by extra marital affairs?
I do know of a few who have the same idea about
life…but then how much do I know?
These women or characters if I may address them
seem to be perpetually bored of their life and their husband. But then,
obviously you cannot be bored by someone else’s husband. It has to be your own.
The husbands are all standard types, ones who wear pinstripes and keep staring
intently at their laptop or Blackberry/ Galaxy S3..what ever is the latest craze.
But they are honest, hardworking folks who work that hard because they
need to pay the EMI’s, I suppose. No running away from this three letter word
in today’s world. Until and unless you father has the Ambani surname and you
are in that father’s good book!
However bored they are, these bored housewives (I
somehow liked the term ‘desperate housewives more) interestingly do not want to
let go of the material comforts provided by the so-called boring,
does-not-pay-me-attention husbands. And the authors/ movie makers never show
THE reason behind that. How can a husband who needs to earn a certain
package to be able to afford the yearly ‘we-vacationed in Spain/ Greece/
Turkey’
keep paying their wives attention or serenade her with flowers every evening? Either
they do that or they get the moolah. Poor souls. Kaam karo to problem, na
karo to problem. Must be taxing living with at-mind-still-a-teenager wife
perpetually!
So the lonely ladies, very conveniently make up
their mind that salvation lies in the arms of a man who has ample free time to
constantly talk/ chat and provide “gosh I am so concerned about your
loneliness” kind of emotional support. As well wishers, they never seem to tell
the lonely friend that maybe she should go out and realize that the world is
actually in a huge mess and maybe she can use her education and sensitivity to
eradicate some of that mess rather than whining. But no, these guys go on
mouthing the same, boring lines decade after decade.
What is beyond my understanding is what these ‘other’
guys do for a living? They seem to be musically inclined (ah stereotypes) and
either play guitar or flute; the more adventurous among them also play violins/
saxophone I guess. But besides chatting up lonely ladies and playing the
instrument (pun intended) what else do they do? How come they never have those
boring conference calls and non ending meetings where no one comes to a
conclusion? When for days you are zombied not to chat even with yourself, what
kind of corporates hires them? The management must comprise real kind souls….I
need a job in one of those companies. Pronto. Or maybe they are what people
call the ‘creative ‘types? FYI: I have never understood the ‘must be’ equation between
indiscipline and creativity; can’t disciplined people be creative? Or like
other stereotypes, this must also be catered to?
In the Indian movies and novels, of course most of
those ‘Seeta bani Silk’ type women suffer from severe guilt pangs after their
indiscretion! Like really? Maybe they think playing footsie and dipping their
finger in chocolate sauce to feed a guy falls under ‘innocent asexual acts by
grown up women’ category. And they imagine that the creative, guitar playing
soul just wants to stare deep into her eyes for the rest of his life!
A friend of mine long back had a similar fling
scenario and then had the audacity to bawl her heart out as if she was forced
into it. Sympathy had eluded me even then. If you as an adult decided on
something, then at least have the guts to own up to your behaviour and
decision!
My personal suggestion to the not too interesting
to keep his wife’s attention fixed on him, wealthy husbands; start implementing
the following, basic steps:
A) Cut down the allowance. I mean Baby you need an
iPad, go gift yourself one. Don’t keep asking Daddy for cookies. That way, Mrs.
Lonely will realize for herself that money does not grow on trees and you
really need to work your ass off and that’s slightly more tedious than
selecting the right upholstery and matching curtains. Priorities will be sorted
and dear boredom will be given a miss, hopefully.
B) Sack the cook, maid, driver, and gardener, the
entire contingent. When the meal has to be actually rustled up, nah not the I can cook a
delicious ‘Malabari prawn’, but the everyday breakfast/ lunch/ dinner and the
siesta interchanged with real digging of the plants and getting the perfectly
manicured hands dirty, one will start realizing that there’s more to life than filing
nails and cultivating boredom as a hobby.
The movie made me realize I have zero tolerance for
those who keep looking for happiness and solution elsewhere rather than doing
some soul searching. A marriage needs attention and nurturing. By both the
parties. One indifferent and one escapist cannot make a marriage work.
I must actually start researching on ‘how to be
less bored in your marriage’ for my next blog. I may end up with an eureka
moment and motivate an entire bored lot to do interesting, crazier things in
life ;)
That way, I’ll be saved from watching and reading
about these stereotyped characters.
******
